Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
