Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
