honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
