Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
