when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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