how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
