You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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