it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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