goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
