There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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