For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
