Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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