o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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