i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
