Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
