Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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