honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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