And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
