I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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