My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
