Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
