Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
