I just cut my nipple shaving
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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