drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
