doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
