i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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