Don't you send me to vm
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
