Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
