Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
