Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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