Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
