The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
