Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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