Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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