the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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