Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
