I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
