just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
