do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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