is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
