WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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