The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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