we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
