apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
