Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
