I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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