dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
