I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
