As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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