also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
